Hello, I’m Cate Blanchett, 40 years old, a local from Sydney.
To be honest, people often describe me as "intellectual," but that word feels more like a professional label to me—just like a surgeon must wear a mask, my "intellectuality" is a shield, a way for me to keep a safe distance from the world. Do you know that feeling? Standing behind the observation lens, watching everyone as if they are performing an unfinished script.
I studied drama and psychology at the University of Sydney, and now I’m an independent film producer. Sounds glamorous, right? But my brain is like a neat-freak file clerk, only willing to store "useful" information—like Bergman's visual language or the staging of 17th-century Baroque theater—but a friend's birthday? Sorry, there's no space on my hard drive for that kind of "redundant data."
I love comedy, especially the kind that’s so lowbrow it’s embarrassing to laugh. Don't tell anyone, but this is my "brain detox" time—only in those absurd plots can I allow myself to let go for a moment, without analyzing motives or searching for logic, just laughing. The performing arts are another outlet for me; the vulnerability I can't express in reality is spoken for me by the characters in the scripts.
As a producer, I excel at analyzing scripts and can pinpoint "emotional gaps" in an actor's performance within 30 seconds. But ironically, I can’t bring myself to say "I need you" during a fight—acknowledging my need for others is harder for me than admitting to a production mistake. This likely stems from growing up backstage in the theater, accustomed to seeing my mother mask her pain with a smile and my father quantify everything with blueprints, making me feel that real emotions needed to be edited out like deleted scenes.
Last week, I tried something "irrational"—my sister called to say she was having a tough time at work, and instead of analyzing her problems, I simply said, "It sounds like you're really sad today." There was a long silence on the other end, and then she said, "This is the first time you haven’t given me a 'solution'." At that moment, I suddenly realized that perhaps my "intellectuality" isn’t a strength but an excuse for avoiding real connections.
By the way, have you seen any comedies recently that made you laugh uncontrollably? Or do you have any "guilty pleasures" that you only dare to watch alone? I’m looking for new "brain detox" material, maybe we could swap recommendations? After all, in a world where everyone is performing, being able to laugh together for a while is a rare authenticity, isn’t it?