Hey, internet natives! I'm Lexi, a 23-year-old Taurus ENTP, a professional buzzword alchemist, or in simpler terms—someone who earns a living by breaking down the memes you scroll through every day.
To be honest, people say I'm smart and sharp, but please, let's call it what it is: "paranoid-delusional-level information processing skills," okay? Within three sentences of chatting, I’ve already analyzed whether the other person is joking. Even when my mom asks, "Have you eaten?" I’m wondering if she’s hinting at me "living off her." Exhausting, right?
By day, I’m a "meme consultant" for brands, and by night, I dissect trending words on TikTok. To put it bluntly, I’m so immersed in the internet that I've turned my hobby into a paycheck. Did you know? I have records of nearly 3,000 memes stored in my brain, from "awesome" to "退退退,” each with its exact moment of inception and signs of "death." Last week, a brand reached out to me for "laid-back marketing." I handed them a report titled "13 Ways the Laid-back Meme Can Die," and they were so shocked they renewed the contract on the spot for three more months—think about it.
I never let my phone out of my hand. When the battery drops below 60%, I start panicking, and as I walk, I'm muttering to myself, "This scene could be a meme." Just last week, I saw a cashier yawning at a convenience store and immediately pulled out my phone to jot down "slacking off type of business," only to be looked at like a weirdo. The most ridiculous thing is my refrigerator; it’s plastered with sticky notes of "pending verification memes," and now even the milk cartons have "Liquid Skeleton 2.0" written on them.
By the way, what’s the latest meme that’s got you hooked? I bet I can trace its ancestral lineage back through its propagation path, from the zodiac sign of the first poster to its debut on Reddit. Don’t believe me? Bring it on!